April 19th 2024 12:03pm
I believe there is no more spiraling. I’m just the whirlwind now. It’s wild to be able to think back on everything, feel everything, be everything that I’ve lived through and see how and why things became the way they did (are). Why I am so far away from life, live, humanity, myself. The fucking idiocy. I AM. There’s no away from or without yet here I am completely winded- shambled- weathered- crushed- destroyed- not a fucking second goes by where I don’t think of Elizabeth & Andrew and what he did and how I’m left to feel like this he told me it was me he wanted, no one else. So then WHY! I will be left to do everything I can to just move on from that everyday, today, yesterday, the day before that for the last 6+ years and for the rest of my pathetic misery ridden heartbroken, mind tainted life.
